Avril 14 by Aphex Twin
Tranquilo. Paisible. Gefasst. Vindstilla.
It’s a word (unlike some) that is translatable across many languages. Oddly enough, it’s mostly defined in terms of absences, of lacking: free of extreme emotion, lacking anxiety.
To me, someone who has struggled with a lot of worry over the course of my life, it seems like calm should exist in its own right, a solid word unfettered by pesky, negative prefixes.
When I need to be calm, this song is the first place that I go. Its soft piano and steady tempo demand nothing of me, unlike most of the heart-wrenching alternative rock that had my iPhone so full with content that I can’t even take a picture on it anymore.
A challenge to anyone reading: listen with earphones and eyes closed. Listen the whole way through and don’t let anything interrupt you? (Side note: can we do that with anything anymore? Just experience it without letting a thousand other worries enter our minds?)
I’ve been a storyteller ever since I can remember. I guess this tendency has taken a lot of different forms over the years– for a while I was convinced that I was going to be on Broadway. Then it was playwriting, when I realized I was neither good enough nor motivated enough to actual pursue a career in theatre.
Then, I forgot about structuring my life around telling stories, but kept a diary the whole time. And wrote short stories the whole time. And tried to translate experience to paper (or Word, or the back of a hand) the whole time.
This blog is titled “This Majestical Roof,” a quote from one of Hamlet’s soliloquies. In his speech, he goes on the rant against how the world, although it seems magnificent, is just a rotten shell. I beg to differ– with another Shakespearean quote. “O brave new world, with such people in it!” I am astounded by the beauty, generosity, and acute emotion of the human race, and of the planet that we live on. The best way I know how to communicate this is to write and to share.
I write because it helps put words to feelings. I write because I think it’s important to put something positive in the world. I write because there’s nothing else for me to do.
I share because there exists this possibility that it can touch someone, somewhere on this pale blue dot we call home.
you were my
running with scissors
delirious peals of laughter
glancing off of each twin blade, each knife
you were the day
i forgot to cry wolf
you were dressed in innocent wool!
you were my crocodile tears
even the blood on my arm
in the shape of your lips
was somehow divine
Half Light II -Arcade Fire
we built glass castles
splinters hidden deeps in the folds of our fingerpads
fractures glistening pretty under a cold, reflected sun
we did not wait for spring to melt our fantasy
for the splinters to get infected
for the fractures to grow.
you threw the first
Boats and Birds -Gregory and the Hawk
our ocean of latitudes
has become, to me,
this precious thing-
mosquito trapped in amber.
I could wait
preserved pretty in the doorway
your honeyed jewel.
The Universe is Going to Catch You -The Antlers